— S Bushman

Notre Dame caught fire this week. The iconic spire burned and fell and millions of people watched from their computers, TV’s, phones. Then they shared their favorite memories of Notre Dame on Instagram and Facebook. I wanted to do the same, but couldn’t, because my photographs of the cathedral interior are living in a giant purple rubbermaid tub, with the rest of my pictures that were captured on 35mm film in 2002, that have yet to be digitized. But I should digitize them because a fire could take those images out and then my photos of the rose windows of the interior of Notre Dame wouldn’t exist anymore, just like how those windows, as they were then, no longer exist.

Just like the moment below no longer exists, but I tried to capture it so I would remember. I met Jordan on a warm summer night in 2010. We had a great time and then that was it.

Jordan. Gassers Lounge, Redondo Beach, Ca

I picked up a camera when I was 5 or 6. I think it was my grandma’s or my mom’s (not sure), but I started taking pictures with it then. I then asked for a camera of my own when I was 7 or 8. I remember the click under my finger, like every wanna-be girl photographer. It was a pink plastic Vivitar and it dangled from my wrist by it’s leash. I tend to be the most comfortable in awkward social situations if I am behind a camera.

But really, what I am trying to discover is a question I think many people grapple with. What is this life all about, what are we supposed to be doing on this planet.

I don’t think many of us really know the answer--we are all just moving/doing/breathing/loving.

What I can tell you is this--to me, it’s all about when the light is just right--that golden hour when it’s bouncing off a fence in just the right way that it makes the hue yellow against a blue building, or when it shines perfectly on your best friend’s jaw line, and she has never looked more beautiful--that’s when the world makes sense to me. When it’s more beautiful than my eyes or my mind think they can tolerate. That’s when I know I am supposed to be here, in this universe, on this planet, at this exact moment, and everything is going to be okay.

I do a lot of different things. Take pictures, paint, and write. It’s what I come back to, it’s the constant thread that gives me a sense of purpose when I am lost in the world, in conjunction with human interaction and connection.

I am excited to share this with you--this view into my brain, while I try and capture how I see things, in that exact moment. Because this exact moment will never happen exactly the same, ever again. It’s not physically possible, with science, with molecules, with time.

I studied photography at UCSD, and graduated with a BA in Visual Arts Media with an emphasis in Photography in 2004. I then returned to school to get my MFA in creative writing 2013. I now work in tech--at the intersection of academia and technology, and I help people maneuver through by designing friendly and engaging learning experiences.